Yes, Mommy Bullying Is a Thing

Society is putting pressure on bullies at school, but where is the campaign to stop bullying by other moms?

Its no coincidence millennial moms are facing bullying when we are the product of mean girls. Even though some of these girls are now mothers, they still haven’t grown up. Now they are just mean moms.

These moms may be lurking on your favorite social media site or you might bump into them during drop off or pickup. There are many signs of mom bullying to be on the look for:

The “I would never” mom is the judgy-mom who might give you the side eye and say I would never let my child do [XYZ].  This mom may not be super aggressive, but still think they can do you your job better. Her bark tends to be bigger than her bark. This mom should be ignored.

The “pushy” mom is always extending her reach. She gives unsolicited advice like maybe you should do it like this while actually taking to the task on herself. She means well but doesn't know how her suggestions really make you feel less than capable. If you encounter a pushy mom, you might want to pull this mom aside and tell her how you feel.

The “trendy” mom is super annoying. She believes in whatever the new parenting trend is. She feels its not only something not only you should be doing, but everyone. She constantly feeds you made up statistics on the benefits that do not exist. When responding to a trendy mom, shake your head and nod as it will calm her down.

The “Aggressive” mom is the one to watch. She constantly tries to put down your parenting skills. She believes it is her duty for calling you out on being a working mom and definitely hates the store bought snacks you bring for the class. She attempts to tell you what to do and not at every chance she gets. Feel free to call out the aggressive mom to her face, but remember to keep it classy as the children are watching how we respond to these bullies.

Though all of these moms think they know best, remember no mom is perfect and we should all be supportive of one another.

By Chanel Rae of aMommyCast

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GUEST MOMMY BlOGGER: Raising an Only Child When More Were in Your Plan

From the heart of the Mommy of an Only Child..

Being the parent of an only child...this was never my plan! Growing up with a brother who was only one year younger than me, I always had a fierce protector, confidant and yes as anyone who has a younger sibling knows, someone who sometimes annoyed the heck out of me! I say all this in love because my bond with my little brother was then an forever will be unbreakable with an adoration for each other that is unmeasurable.

Because I had my little brother aka my room-mate, I grew up dreaming that when it was my time I would have at least two children and in my mind ideally 3....2 girls and a boy...I had a plan.

Well as my mother would say, “man plans and God laughs” because after two heart breaking miscarriages I had my daughter at the tender age of 22 and she would end up being my only child.

You might ask, how do you go from having a lifelong dream of having three children to only having one? You had her so young, why did you stop?

Here’s the thing: I did have my daughter at a very young age but from the moment I first held her in my arms I felt a love I had never known and could not even explain. I wanted to be and do everything for her. My primary purpose in life became discovering all that I could about this little human that I had been entrusted to steward over. For me this was the greatest responsibility I had ever been given and I did not take it lightly. I studied her, nurtured her gifts, encouraged her to strengthen her strengths and manage her weaknesses. I spent countless hours at theatre, art and dance classes. Sought to get her a great education and traveled around the world with her to cultivate and express her talents. As the years went by I realized that I was learning about myself as I poured into her...we grew up together.

In my youth I thought that being a parent meant to be a steward and it does but I have come to learn that in my stewardship there were aspects of my being that were unveiled and blossomed in my role as Mommy.

Now do I think that myself and my daughter may have been different people had I had more children? I do think that the dynamics of our relationship would have been different because I would have had to share my time and energies with her sibling(s) but ultimately I think we would have grown into who we are today...same destination different journey.

Some think that it’s a disadvantage for one to grow up as an only child because that only child can be showered with so much attention from their parents that they may become selfish and socially inept.

I must admit that there were often times when my daughter was growing up that when were in the presence of other children and attention was being given to them, my daughter would be come upset and give the standard pouty face and arms crossed over her chest. I would tell her, “ it’s not your moment,” and she would most often shake it off and join in with what was happening or go off and do her own thing. Only children are good at doing their “own thing.” I’m not sure if this behavior was because of the “only child syndrome” or because my daughter was an entertainer from birth and always wanted to delight people with her talents. Either way, there were times when I had to tell her NO and as a Mommy I could not be afraid to do so because in this world she will not always get a YES, them what?!

Two life principles that I have learned are critical when it comes to raising only children, they are “balance is the key to life” and “relationships are the network for life.” Though my daughter did not have a sibling in the home that she had to share Mommy’s attention with, I always made it clear to her that it’s not always going to be her “moment.” I taught her that she needed to be mindful of the needs of others because we all have an innate desire to feel loved and wanted and when that need is not met that it when abnormality expresses itself in ways that can be harmful not only to the individual but to the society at large.

We grow in community and not isolation so I always made sure to bring my daughter around our extended family, scheduled play dates with friend and kept her engaged in social activities that developed her socialization and communication skills outside of her parents. You can not develop a muscle unless you exercise it.

I would tell anyone who has more than one child as difficult as it may be to share your time talent and treasury equally with each child, do your best to see them as individuals, uniquely and wonderfully made and designed for a specific purpose. Take the time to study their unique traits, characteristics and abilities, help your children to discover them then put in the work to nurture them.

I believe God in His infinite wisdom knew WHO my daughter was and what she would require from me and that’s why she is an only child. I don’t have any regrets because my daughter brings me so much joy and I see her as the best of me...my one and only!

- Heather Hughes

Would you like to be a guest blogger of aMommyCast.com? Send your entries to aMommyCast@gmail.com

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Activities to Survive Summer Dayz

It’s not always the easiest to entertain your children 24/7 and sometime you just don’t have the time or energy to play. With summer here for the next few months, it’s important to do a little research on the types of activities, camps, or even library programs that are available to you.

Local libraries offer mommy and me time for babies from birth to age 3, toddler play time and story time, where they can play meet new friends, hear stories and develop their minds and imagination and there are programs for older children ages 5-12 where they can participate in reading programs, learn and play chess, participate in Wii tournaments and extra activities your library may offer. Best of all its free!!

Money can sometimes be a little tight during the summer months, especially when you are out and about more and also vacation. Camps can be costly, but if you’re a working parent – you want and need camps that are full days and that in itself can add up. Check your local, town, city or county sites for summer camp grants that may be available to you. Some camps even work with your income for a budget that makes sense.

Make use of your environment! City and state parks are the ideal space for babies, toddlers, and children of all ages to get Vitamin D, have some swing time at the playground and basically run and run until they tire themselves out. Bring a meal, badminton set, or bubbles or, soccer ball, or even some books to keep them entertained in the great outdoors.

Other fun places like museums are always a good choice.

Think of party places and go during the week for cheaper pricing, - venues with bouncy houses, arcade games, roller skating, bowling, cooking classes, painting classes, etc. We have soooo much around us, we forget about those old school feel good places.

If you have access to a pool – then go!!! Also, you can purchase day passes for pool access at most hotels. Give your local hotel a call. Children looove the pool (and really gets them nice and tired for bed) It’s a win-win for all.

If you have any other ideas or business ideas, please contact us and share!!

- LaToya

 

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Cruisin With a One Year Old

Last year was not only our first cruise, but our first cruise with our son. We went on a one week cruise to the French Caribbean through Carnival. Chase was 1 1/2 at the time of our cruise. Below is a complete packing list of things we took with us Feel free to ask about any specific product. 

3-4swim suits with sun-proof shirts - we definitely used all. While we used two per day, the others were able to dry in the cabin 

A comfortable and lightweight stroller that you don’t mind banging around. 

A non-spill cup - in fact I recommend this for the entire family

A&D ointment

Acetaminophen / Tylenol for both adults and babies

Aloe Gel / Cooling lotion

shampoo for adult and baby

Benadryl for both adults and babies

Bottle washer * We found the cutest travel kit on amazon. See main image.

Children’s Dramamine; if your toddler is like mine- forget the sea band, he won't wear it the entire trip. Make sure to check with your doctor first.

coloring book and crayons 

Crib Sheet / blanket

diapers (enough for an extra day just incase you get stranded at the airport)

dish soap

At least two formal outfits for both adults and babies. including dress shoes

Ear drops

eating utensils for baby

first aid kit

food/snacks enough for each day

gas medicine/probiotics or whatever will aid your child with digestion

hair supplies

headphones

Hoodie / LIGHT JACKET

insect repellent 

iPad / tablet and download your toddler’s favorite movies on it. Do not rely on Wi-Fi 

Lanyard for cruise ID (1 for each family member)

Large and small zip-lock bags to keep everything organized and separated, and plastic bags for wet or sandy clothes.

lotion (baby and adult)

nail clippers 

One or two large garbage bags for all your dirty laundry

pajamas

portable fan

portable rack

sandals

shoe rack for behind door to keep toiletries organized

Sippy cups

small pool/beach toys

sneakers

stain remover (tide to go)

sunglasses

sunscreen

swim/water shoes

toothbrush and safe to swallow toothpaste

Tote bag for day excursions

Two outfits per cruise day and a couple of dressier ones AND PANTS FOR RAINY/COOLER DAYS

wipes (baby and disinfecting)

- Chanel Rae

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